Surgery day

So last Wed., July 30, was my right mastectomy, left lat dorsi flap and tissue expander implants.
I arrived at the hospital the night before so my IV fluids could be started at midnight. I had to pee in a cup so they could make sure I wasn't pregnant. Uh, seemed ridiculous since i did have my ovaries removed in that very same hospital...
All was good until I rolled over and pulled the catheter out of my wrist. I then had to endure a very painful poking around in the same area with no luck.
Around 8 am I was wheeled in my hospital bed down to pre-op. There I was hooked up to the "bear hugger" warming blanket; a new IV was started (she used
Lidocaine); I was injected with heparin in my belly; met the anesthesiologist and he assured me he'd do what he could to prevent nausea. My breast surgeon popped in to say hi then the nurse gave me some "happy" drugs.
Wheeled into OR and this time I was awake enough to help them position me on the table. Next thing I knew I was dreaming about animals and someone told me not to rub my eyes. Then a searing pain on my left side but, hey, wait a minute...no nausea!
Recovery room memories: dry throat; pain; intact sense of humor but difficult to crack jokes with a throat like the Sahara; crazy chapped lips; asking for ice chips.

Back in room to be awakened all night by nurses and PCA's. Blood pressure cuff on my lower left leg because of the IV in right arm and lymphedema in left arm. Things squeezing my legs to prevent blood clots; bed adjusting and readjusting itself constantly.
Pushing the call button to ask for more pain meds ("What's your level of pain, 1-10?").
Then at 4 am people rushed in to put protector things on the sides of my bed because they were afraid I'd have seizures because my heart rate went high. Um, of course that couldn't be because I had just tried to sit up and it was crazy painful. Look at my chart for 2 seconds and you'd see I have a normally high heart rate you stupid man! All of the sudden an internal medicine doctor had jumped in. "Does your eye normally look like that?" I got pissed! It was the middle of he night and he had just turned the lights on. I had been lying in bed for hours and hours. How the hell was I supposed to know what my eye looked like????!!!!
" Why are you shaking so bad?" Uh, possibly from the PAIN!