Words

Today I was gathering papers to copy to send to my Medicaid caseworker. I was looking in my oncology patient portal for info to show that I get the Faslidex injections every month & came across this...

 

Now, I know my situation. I have known since U of M when that doctor so cruelly told me that I have incurable cancer. I saw the initial staging reports. I read. But to see the words "stage IV" and 

"palliative" was hard. It made me sad and shaky. I'm lucky because stage IV is the metastasis to distant organs or bones. It has not gone into my bones or organs yet. I'm happy about that. I'm just sad because I'm afraid. I'm afraid and I feel so alone.

Cancer has shattered so many of my dreams.

ER on Friday

Cellulitis once again. IV abx but no hospital stay. I'm getting tired of this!

Red shoulder

A specific kind of pain

So...my right shoulder started hurting yesterday afternoon. I assumed it was from using the weight machines the day before but in the back of my mind I was screaming NO NO NO NO! Sure enough around 11pm I noticed the red spots forming.

I've felt a little "off" this week. I had my injection on Tues. And it's about the time infection shows up. I'm so annoyed.

I took a 500mg cephalexin that was supposed to be for my dog.

So incredibly annoyed!!!

Surgery is a go!

Saw plastic surgeon yesterday and we are going ahead with the lat dorsi recon on the right side. She said I'll get to keep my nipple which kind of surprised me but is pretty cool! Just hope for no expander infection!

Results

Of the scans were good. Everything is stable.

Got my Faslodex injection and it was painful!! Like, almost crying painful. It felt like the nurse was injecting hot lava or something. Still hurts but was better for a while with ibuprofen.

Scans again in 4 months.

Scans 8/25

Scans went well yesterday. I stopped in at chemo area & asked if a nurse there could access my port. Then I went over to radiology for my nuclear med injection for the bone scan. Then to CT. After CT I had to wait for a nurse to come and deaccess the port. Then I was free until bone scan at 1:30p.

Bone scan tech asked if I'd been having rib pain then she asked about my foot. Oh yeah, it's been jacked up for a week. I wonder what she saw? Oncologist appointment next week for results; pending in portal til the 29th.

Rib pain

I've been having pain in the usual area on my ribs but it seems worse since the weekend. I'm sure it's because I wore my bra night & day during the camping trip, and I slept in the ground. But...it worries me so, because I'm me, I searched "rib pain breast cancer". The first link was this:

http://lisabadams.com/2013/10/01/black-suede-boots-one-year-ago-today-found-metastatic-breast-cancer/

I almost cried.