A bird pooped on me today

I'm still laughing about that! My grandma complains that the neighbor feeds the birds and then they fly around the corner and do their "business" on her porch. I could hardly talk today because I was laughing so hard after my niece pointed out the lovely bird "business" on my WHITE shirt! I had breakfast with a friend and didn't get grape jelly on the white shirt. I'll was happy. Then the bird...oh that's the plopping sound I heard in the woods while walking the dog.
On another happy, er, icky note I puked today. Not sure why. Had headache, took Tylenol, maybe that was it?? Having vision issues so it might have been a "seasickness" type upset. Drove my niece to volleyball practice and almost puked in the car (threw up in my mouth). Grabbed a plastic bag. Horrible feeling! So disgusting! Nasty to post here but it is what it is. My body is starting to feel like an alien being. I don't know it anymore. Who are you and what have you done to me?!?