Rollercoaster

This cancer thing is quite the series of ups and downs. I get SO irritated by the Cancer Center commercials on TV! And one of the local news stations always has some story about a cancer patient! Cancer is like the monster under the bed. Sometimes I don't think about it and sometimes it crawls out and I have to face it. I think of those cancer cells still lurking in my armpit area.  I was taking a couple of supplements that I found out were not good for someone with my type of cancer. I panicked and tossed 'em, completely freaked out that I had taken them for 2 weeks and I could imagine the cancer cells rejoicing! I feel pretty good these days. I'm still tired quite often but I'm sure with the warmer weather I'll want to get out and exercise. I have my ups and downs with the whole "positive thinking". There are some weeks when I need to be negative, put it into a low gear and just chill out by myself. I have my pity party and move on.
I tried to explain to my mom about how hard it is after treatment. Everyone breathes a sigh of relief that it's over, whew! But it's not over for me. I deal with it daily. If I talk about it I come across as being wimpy/needy. So when asked how I'm doing it is always " fine".