Thanksgiving

I am so happy that I feel so much better this year! I missed Thanksgiving dinner with my family last year because I didn't feel well. 

I am thankful for my family and friends who were with me thru the chemo and radiation and surgeries of the past year.

I don't do Black Friday ever since I got hit by a cart one crazy morning in Walmart. Today I did go for a little afternoon shopping and scored!! I got a kayak for $99.99! They were sold out but let me pre-pay for one in the next shipment. I have wanted a kayak for at least 10 years. I think it will be great for my arms with the lymphedema and problems with range of motion. I'm excited! Now I just have to wait for the lake to thaw...

Fatigue

I went to a new primary care doctor on Nov. 18. I liked her a lot! I explained my fatigue and the fact that I feel crappy most days. She asked if I'm anxious or depressed. She said most women can't get through all of this without some type of medication. I told her that I'm anxious. She increased the dose of my Effexor to 75mg to see if that helps with the anxiety and to see if it helps me sleep better at night. I was hoping that my blood work would show that something was "off" but it came back normal. 

She asked me if I exercise. I just kind of looked at her for a moment thinking "Are you kidding? I don't even want to get out of bed in the morning!" I did go on two really long hikes this past week and that felt really great!

I read something last night about adrenal fatigue. I wonder if that is what is going on with me. I will have to do some more research into it. 

I'm thinking about going vegetarian for a while to see if that helps. I'm definitely going to get out my juicer and make a tasty (not!) green leafy drink.

Funny thing about hot flashes...

So, I know to expect a hot flash with my morning coffee and as soon as I get into bed at night. I usually have one in the evening around 9:30 or 10. I can't seem to figure out what triggers them other than caffeine. A few weekends ago I had a two-day class to attend and I was worried about being anxious and having sweat dripping down my forehead. During the day there were several times that the presenter lowered the lights for a video. That is when I had a hot flash--every time the lights went down! I'm still trying to figure that one out! This past week I went on a night hike for several hours and the temperature dropped down to 19 degrees. Do you think I had even one hot flash? Nope. My personal furnace failed me. I had to laugh at that!

Tattoo video

http://www.upworthy.com/you-might-see-tattoos-in-a-new-light-after-you-see-them-on-this-woman?g=3&c=upw1

Medical records

I was excited to receive a thick envelope in the mail last week. Copies of my recent medical records. Interesting reading...

Apparently my last CT scan showed a "healing fracture" of my left sixth rib. I had no idea. That explains the intense pain I had back in June but it's crazy to think I fractured a rib by picking up a 15 pound dog! I suspected that pain was from the radiation treatments but I didn't realize that the radiation can weaken the ribs enough that a cough can cause a fracture. Oh boy, more fun to look forward to! ;-)

I enjoyed reading the details about my surgical procedures.

I did not enjoy reading the radiation oncologist's  notes that stated that I was a "young woman" at one appointment and a "middle aged woman" at another. How quickly we age...

Mondays at Racine

I just finished watching the short HBO documentary called Mondays at Racine. Racine is a hair salon run by two sisters and one Monday a month they offer free services to breast cancer patients. 

Post about pink October

I saved the draft of this back in October and never published it.
This is a post from breastcancer.org and not written by me:

Disclaimer-Yes, I am happy that breast cancer is funded through the actions of others. Some companies give a lot, others don’t give as much as you would think. I am grateful to still be counted as a survivor. I am grateful that there are runs and walks in order to raise awareness. I am thankful for all my family and friends who were supportive and there for me during TYOC (The Year of Cancer). I do, however, feel the need to post this note.

Pinktober…through the eyes of a breast cancer survivor

Well, it’s here. The month of October. I used to love October before I became the “one” in the 1 in 8. Really, if you live in NJ it’s closer to 1 in 7. Now, some of you may be puzzled by my lack of enthusiasm for an entire month dedicated to pink products. This includes products like pink ribbons, pink pins, pink clothing, pink kitchenware, pink appliances, pink tic-tacs and, yes, even pink buckets of Kentucky Fried Chicken. It’s time for me to let you in on a little secret. Many breast cancer survivors HATE this month and here are some reasons why:

1.Pink is a color that seems soft and cuddly. I’m not sure how pink ended up being the “color of breast cancer” but I can tell you for certain that breast cancer is definitely not soft and cuddly. I’m not sure what the opposite of “soft and cuddly” is but whatever it is, that’s the color of breast cancer.

2.Many survivors try to forget about breast cancer as much as we can. We can’t think about it all the time-it just doesn’t work for us. Trust me, I tried that. Being in a heightened state of fear is, well, it sucks. So, when it’s Pinktober and we go into a store, any store, just to pick something up, it brings us back to that scary place. Some survivors say that when they see the massive pink displays they relive the moment of diagnosis. That’s a lot of emotion to process when you just wanted a $4.99 rotisserie chicken.

3.When we express the fact that we hate Pinktober people will oftentimes look at us like there is something wrong with us. Let’s put it this way…If you were in a horrible fire and narrowly escaped, or got out but with burns to part of your body, would you really want someone to be waving a lit candle around you several times a day for an entire month?

4.There is so much pink crap sold by companies who actually give very small amounts to research. I hesitate to type this because of course we want breast cancer research funded. If you really want to help with that, donate money rather than buying a pink (insert name of product). Alternatively, read the fine print to see how much money is actually going to research breast cancer. Some companies donate a good portion of their profits to research and others, well, not so much.

5.This is the month where I get phone calls asking me if I want to “give to breast cancer awareness”. Really? I have to give money in order to be aware? It’s not like I can avoid being aware of breast cancer at least twice a day…every day….every single day. Additionally, I think giving an actual breast (which aside from the cancer was pretty ok), along with my hair (also pretty ok most days) for about a year sort of pays the tab for me.

6.This is also the month when people like to send survivors articles about what causes breast cancer. That fake Johns Hopkins one comes to mind. Please don’t send us that. It is not true and takes a blame the victim stance.

7.The slogans “Save Second Base”, “Save the Ta-Ta’s” “Save the Hooters” and “Big or Small, Save them All” completely miss the mark for many of us. It is NOT about saving body parts. It’s about saving lives.