Happy Monday

Woohoo! Sealed indictments from Robert Mueller's investigation into Trump-Russia.

I can hear the Law & Order DUN DUN in my head! 

Ah, I love criminal justice & law!

Everyone is looking forward to later today for more info & possible perp walks. Oh please please let it be RICO and let the Trump family be involved.

Port scar

My scars don't physically bother me except the one from my port. There's a scar from the port on my collarbone and that one is fine. The one about 2 inches below it is always being irritated by my shirts or something. It doesn't hurt but just gets "angry" red sometimes and feels irritated so that I'm aware of it. It's bothering me tonight.

In the photo I got both scars and the radiation tattoo.

Yay!

I was looking at snowboards online today. I just realized that I'm back!! Five long long years. I'm feeling good but weak, like I have no strength in my arms or my legs. But I see the possibilities of the future...on some days.

This...

http://www.refinery29.com/2017/10/176194/life-after-breast-cancer-survivor-story

What we carry...

I was going to try to clean the spilled drink stain off my back pack but maybe not.

https://www.wyldergoods.com/blogs/journal/how-we-carry?utm_source=General+Interest&utm_campaign=6dee7f9b81-What+We+Carry+With+Us&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_a5a9413f19-6dee7f9b81-213941401&goal=0_a5a9413f19-6dee7f9b81-213941401&mc_cid=6dee7f9b81&mc_eid=5636e0e65e

😞

Felling sad today & I wasn't sure why but then I realized that people don't tell me things. I'm talking people who I thought were good friends. If I don't matter enough for them to tell me about their lives then that makes me feel incredibly stupid for telling them about little things that happen in mine. And that makes me feel even lonelier. I feel like I must annoy everyone. 

Today

Wow! What a day! Fifty nine people dead, 527 injured in the worst mass shooting in the US. All because they went to a concert to have fun. Guy fired from 34th floor of hotel. It brought back memories of 9/11 because I heard about it on the radio. Not tv, not fb, not my usual go-to twitter.

Then I also hear on the radio that Tom Petty died. Something about hearing bad news in the radio is more of a gut punch. Kind of the same way "breaking news" used to be something major going down, like a plane crash.

But then I see online that Petty may not be dead yet.

These natural disasters, these mass casualty situations reinforce that I need to take that WFR to EMT bridge class. I'm bummed that I let my Wilderness First Responder certification lapse. I either had no money or had a scheduling conflict at the time of the class.

I feel like cancer somehow made me jittery in crowds but maybe it's just things that happen in the world. Maybe it's the type of books I read or the things I look up online. I'm always looking for the exit, making a plan.

The thing is...terrorists want us to be scared. They want to disrupt our lives. Hopefully we'll learn why a 64 yr old, white, affluent male decided to kill strangers just out having a good time.