Critical Incident Stress Management

I went to a CISM class tonight at the Sheriff Dept. It's good to know there are resources to help with stressful incidents after a search and rescue mission. We learned about stress and how it can build up until one event causes us to not be able to deal, kind of a tipping point. The instructor said that 85% of people are "Somebody needs to do something!" and the other 15% are the rescuers.
The instructor also advised that we not look into the eyes of the victim because that will lead us "down the highway into their soul". Meaning what you see there will be imprinted in your mind.
I wonder about CISM with cancer patients (I want to say survivors but don't like that word). I can be sailing along just fine and suddenly have my "tipping point" and I'm off the rails. I have to find ways to deal with my stress. Because I can't send a hot flash to the DHS worker who denied my medicaid, I have to chill out in other ways. ;-) Pets, puzzles, picking cuticles, Paul Walker movies & blog, punching bag...

A Year Ago

A year ago (well, March 8th to be exact) I had my last radiation treatment. A friend gave me a small calendar and I used that to record my rad treatments...to cross off the days as each was completed. I still think the radiation was much scarier than the chemo. The lasting effects still freak me out, mostly the painful areas on my ribcage and right shoulder. My right armpit area was so burned/damaged that I have no hair there. I still rarely use deodorant because apparently sweat glands were screwed up too.

I have stopped looking on breastcancer.org. I have been packing my cancer "library" into a box. BUT I have been researching lymphedema and I have been getting increasingly frustrated that nothing can be done. I try to avoid reading survival statistics (I did that the other day and was anxious and freaked out) because I don't think I fit into the Stage 4 category even though "technically" I do.

Hot flashes and the lymphedema are my main issues now. The hot flashes aren't too bad but they do wake me up at night. I am going to continue my research into the lymph system. I'm still tired and nap most afternoons. I find that I sleep deeper then and that might be due to the timing of my tamoxifen (I take it at night) and because of less hot flashes. If I'm active I have less need to nap so I'm sure exercise will help if I get motivated. :-)
I'm good to go for most activities. I just rest after.
It's still a rollercoaster with the ups and downs but I mostly feel hopeful and want to reach that five year mark.

I took my dog to the vet last week and he wanted to check her lymph nodes. He did a FNA (fine needle aspirate) to gather some cells for viewing under the microscope. He said if he saw white cells they could be from her recent ear infection but if he saw abnormal cells then it could be cancer. I almost cried. I haven't cried in a while. The slide showed some abnormal cells so he wants to do a recheck. He started to explain how chemo is different for dogs. He said for humans they wipe out all cells and its hell on the body. I said " Yeah, I know..."